The Watery Rave

Ten Questions with the Kamchatka Expedition

As the Kamchatka expedition came to an end, we asked the members about some of the memorable times on the trip and to describe the area to those that have never been there before. Here’s the skinny on the peninsula.

1. Describe Kamchatka for the person who has never been there?

A. The Peninsula is the size of California and there are only a handful of roads – it is amazing, and refreshing and if you have to hitchhike, you know you’re on the only game in town. A mountainous spine bisects Kamchatka, marked by a slew of active and inactive volcanoes to the east, and receding hills and plains to the west. The strongest salmon fisheries are in the plains of west-central Kamchatka along shallow braided rivers that flow into the Sea of Othosk, and provide hundreds of miles of prime spawning grounds in what has become one of the strongest and most diverse salmon-based ecosystems in the world. Kamchatka hosts every salmonid species, and with a few exceptions, almost all the fish in its rivers are salmonid.

The mid-section of the Kamchatka peninsula is bisected by the 471 mile-long Kamchatka River, which flows northeast through a broad valley flanked by two steep mountain ranges. Paralleling the river through this valley is Kamchatka’s only major north-south highway, a graded gravel dust-fest that will test the padding on your ass. We drove a lot of that road during our last days on the peninsula. The Kamchatka River and the ecosystems it supports share much in common with the larger rivers of the temperate Pacific Northwest except there are zero people around to share the experience. The Kamchatka River also hosts the only salmon hatcheries on the peninsula.

Many of the faster and steeper rivers in the east aren’t as well suited to such prolific salmon populations, but are still packed with more fish and wildlife than we’d ever seen.

2. Did you come across many locals on your outings? If so, what was their view of the expedition and American anglers in general?

A. You mean other than bears? Once out of Petropavolovsk, we rarely saw people.  Those we did see both around the city and outside of it were very friendly and curious about our travels and most wanted to know if Albert Pujols was going to win the MLB MVP award.  If we didn’t have someone to translate, it was difficult to communicate the full breadth of our expedition, but we only encountered welcome and positive sentiments from the Russians we met with the exception of a man who had a crush on Milla Jovovich, a Russia movie star and was pissed because Tom Cruise had hit on her. He thought Cruise was over-rated.  For the most part, the Russians can seem cold and uninterested at first, but are very generous, kind and humorous once the ice is broken and they know you’re not going to deplete their vodka supply.

Almost everybody we met, though, thought what we were up to was neat, but nothing to write home about. The locals in Kamchatka seemed pretty used to well funded adventure tourists and anglers (primarily from western Russia and Europe), and we seemed to be placed into the category of numbskull adrenaline junkies with trust funds.

3. What is summer like for the locals of Kamchatka?

A. Winters are pretty hard on Kamchatka, so they bask in the summers for sure.  You can tell on the nice days in the summer that they are just trying to soak it in, knowing it won’t last. I imagine they’re just glad to be outside without 30 pounds of extra clothing.

4. What was the funniest thing that happened on the trip?

A. There are always so many inside jokes that develop on a trip like this. As a group you experience so much in such a short period of time, and because of the language barrier can only share so much with the Russians. Some kids gave us some candy with a picture of a penguin chopping wood on the wrapper.  Somehow this became a catch phrase for us, and we would insert it random conversations, like if we were having a good time, somebody would just pipe in, “it’s like a penguin chopping wood,” it was out way of saying S-W-E-E-T!  Everyone would laugh, although, if you overheard us it wouldn’t make any sense, which I’m sure helps reassure DETANTE. Our first taste of caviar was pretty entertaining as well—it’s definitely not a taste for the American palate. It was like an amazing splash of the fishiest aftertaste that stuck to the roof of your mouth no matter how you tried to kill it off.

5. What was the scariest thing that happened?

A. The trip went quite well, with minimal incident; however, on our second kayak trip, Bryan got a large blister (about the size of an egg) on his forearm. Shane thought it might be Cooties, but it was definitely an allergic reaction to a plant or a bite or something of that nature since Martha was the only female around, and she wore gloves most of the time. It didn’t seem to be bothering him, but we were several days from being back in Petropavolosk unless we called for a helicopter. As the most medically trained member of the team (former EMT, Ski Patrol and a big fan of the television series Grey’s Anatomy), it was a concern, but we just rolled with in and kept monitoring it. When we finally returned to PK, our fixer, Martha, told us not to worry, that it was only Pushki (aka Cow Parsnips or as we called it, Cow Cooties), and it eventually resolved.  But this was a reminder that in such remote locations, it only takes a small infection or allergy to really complicate a mission.

6. What did you do in the evenings?

A. On the rivers, it was cook, fish, eat, hang out, fish, and enjoy the peacefulness, fish, sleep. It was like a “penguin chopping wood.” Back in town, it was considerably more hectic:  batteries to recharge, photos to download, blog posts to update, Twitter, Facebook, touching base with family, making logistical arrangements for the next trip, often only 24-48 hours away.

7. Any kayak dings along the way?

A. Not a single ding. Our kayaks and all our gear held up incredibly well, which was a testament to the products more so that our skill, because lord knows we ran some pretty extreme stuff. On expeditions like this you always fear your gear failing when you need it most, but I don’t think we ever got into any of our repair kits – not even a strip of duct tape. We were lucky, and grateful for all our great sponsors providing us with top-notch gear.

8. Tell me about getting out of Russia, from leaving the Kamchatka peninsula to getting on a plane?

A. We had made the decision before even getting to Russia that we would try to sell our kayaks or leave them with an outfitter so we didn’t have to travel home with them. This was the best decision we made, even better than not doing shots with the locals! Even with seven fewer bags, we paid more and had more hassle with our luggage on the way home compared to flying there. It’s just a real disadvantage with the language barriers and not knowing the customs, who to tip, who to bribe, who to run from, etc.

Connecting from PKC to NYC in Moscow could make the ESPN highlight reel for top ten plays of the day. Leading up to our departure from Kamchatka we had been hearing horror stories of failed attempts to connect these two flights. Ryan, our fishing guide quit trying a few years ago and has never had a client try. Martha, our handler, was 0-7, but still thought that it was possible with the right team. Hearing all of these stories kind of spurred us on, and honestly sounded like a great challenge. Regardless, we had already bought the tickets and were eager not to be stuck in Moscow…again.

So, we implemented a leapfrog strategy and divided into two teams of two, with one floater. The idea was that if we could stay one move ahead of the game, then we could reduce our time in line, while the floater could either go two steps ahead or diffuse the odd situation (NOTE: This did involve a lot of line cutting in line, and is not recommended if you are concerned about looking like an a#$hole or an “Ugly American”). The plan was working well, as we exited the plane, collected gear, checked gear, paid for extra baggage (separate line), and passed through customs. I will admit that our tactics were a bit obnoxious, but we were trying to win.

Once, passing customs we loaded our remaining gear onto a series of roller carts and begin sprinting through an elaborate maze of corridors that covered close to a mile and connected one terminal to the next, to the next… After passing customs, we had less than 30 minutes to board our plan and we needed every second to run. Arriving at the security checkpoint dripping in sweat, we quickly moved through and arrived at our gate with only seconds to spare. Shane missed the gate initially, and just went sliding by on the smooth marble floors as he tried to stop his full sprint. Aeroflot held the gate open for him and closed the airplane door as soon as the entire team entered. New score 1-0!

9. Did you have any remorse when you arrived back home?

A. Definitely.  Kamchatka is a pretty special place, and I’m not sure if I’ll have another opportunity to go there, and especially to experience some of the activities and places we were able to go on this expedition. Even in the most remote parts of North America, it’s hard to experience the kind of wildness we felt there, and it felt very good for the soul to experience that kind of nature – totally undeveloped—and to know that places like that still exist on our planet.

10. Who was the hero of the trip?

A. Kamchatka!  She really showed us her best. The last night we were there, Lena, one of our fixers, told us a Kamchatka proverb, that if you come to this land with expectations and agendas, you will often encounter her notorious storms, set backs, bureaucracy, naked public drunkness(only kidding), prisons (kidding again), etc. But if you come with an open mind and flexibility, she will show you all her wonder.  Lena congratulated us that night on our approach to everything Russian, and she said that Kamchatka has shown us her best because she wants us to come back.  It is just an amazing place that I hope to someday return to.